Pokemon - I Love You
by HappyHappyCartoons
Summary: All Kyle ever wanted was a cute shiny munchlax. Why? Well, it reminded him of his mindlessly eating, sleeping, fatass of a boyfriend, of course. Kyman - Fluff Posted on AO3 as well.


_Phampy used rollout._

 _Hit two times._

Kyle nearly threw his jade green 3DS across the living room.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" His anger proceeded to become more furious, and quite scary too.

He had finally done it. He had found that shiny Munchlax he was looking for for the past four years. The only thing that fucked him over was that it had to show up on him when his pokemon were such a low level. This was incredibly rare, even for Kyle. He felt that god had shined his light upon him and blessed him with such a gift, but goddamn, was it a pain in the ass. He knew that this would probably never happen again, and he didn't want to seem desperate for such a stupid pokemon.

Why a shiny munchlax out of all pokemon? The pokemon wasn't really wanted in its shiny form, nor was it great to begin with. He just wanted it for one reason. It reminded him so much of his boyfriend. It reminded him of Eric Cartman. He had always joked around with Stan and Kenny that he was like a snorlax when he first started getting into the craze. Granted they were kids, so he thought of it more as an insult. But as they aged, it became clearer that Eric was clearly the real life version of the monster. The mindless eating, sleeping, not giving a care if you're blocking a damn bridge when you need to head off to the next town. It was the spitting image of him and it always made Kyle feel fucking happy for some strange reason. It was like how Eric told him that he reminded him of a vulpix or Flareon because of his attitude. Not that he would complain. He loved both of those pokemon. When munchlax was released as a new pokemon, he knew. He knew that he had to raise one. He couldn't figure out why at first, maybe it was just an instinct to raise it like he did with his other favorite pokemon. But when he developed his feelings for Eric, he figured the exact reason why. He wanted something that reminded him of Cartman. Something that he could look at when he's away and say, "It's like fatass is here with me."

The munchlax's gaze stared back at him as he furiously tapped away at his screen, hoping that the pokeball would catch the beast. He threw another basic ball, the flashing lights enveloping the creature into its confines.

 _Kyle threw a pokeball._

The ball shook several times before bursting open again, causing Kyle to grip his game system harder in frustration.

 _Ah, it was almost caught!_

He let out a loud growl, his face becoming as red as his curls.

The health bar of the Munchlax was nearly red, signalling that he had to catch it now, or it would be too late. He couldn't defend his poor tiny phanpy any longer as its health was nearing its end. He was running low on Poke balls, spending all of his earnings from trainer fights. The beady eyes of the pokemon stared deeply into Kyle's soul, torturing him. The monster bounced happily on the balls of its feet as the dinging sound of a pokemon near fainting ringed obnoxiously in his ears. He felt tears of pure anguish and stress build up in his eyes.

'There's no way in hell I'm crying over this.' He thought, glaring viciously at his screen. The tortuous rhythm of the wild battle music started to make his skin crawl. He phanpy's head bobbed up and down, bouncing as it waited for its master's turn.

"Don't worry, little dude. We'll catch this hungry piece of shit before I die." He took hold of his stylus, selecting his final move.

 _Phanpy used tackle ._

It was successful in giving the shiny munchlax slight damage, enough to maneuver it into the red.

His chest felt a little less tense now that it was in an easier place. He couldn't believe how hard it was just to do this. It wasn't something that normally happened to him when he played the games. Usually so early in the game, the pokemon tend to be a big more lenient when it came to being catched. Maybe that it was a shiny that made it more difficult, who knows? Kyle didn't and he would like to punch whomever programed this straight in the fucking nose.

His hand hesitated in throwing that single red pokeball. The yellow button's arrow hovered aimlessly out of sync with the background music. The nib of the stylus just missing the screen by half an inch, he takes a deep breath in, knowing it may not be a successful catch.

"Here goes nothing." Squeezing his eyes shut, he tapped with full force, sending the pokeball off.

 _Kyle threw a pokeball._

 _One._

 _Two._

 _Three._

A small click sound was made, followed by the sound of happy horns and a fanfare.

 _Munchlax was caught!_

Kyle nearly dropped his system as he leaped proudly off the sofa, cheering over and over again. He kicked the blanket that kept his small frame warm, falling back onto the cushions, kicking his sock clad feet in the air. He laughed wholeheartedly, a wide smile making its way across his face.

"Yes! Yes!"

His game system rest on his chest as he breathed heavily was jumping around like a maniac. He took the 3DS back into his hands, watching as his four year journey finally came to an end. The stats and moveset were shown on screen, and Kyle couldn't be more pleased with himself. An astonishing good start to a new game plus his first shiny to boot. He honestly couldn't believe it. His luck finally came to him.

 _Would you like to give Munchlax a nickname?_

Kyle pretended to give a long and hard thought to his name, but knew right away what he wanted to name this monstrosity. He tapped as accurately as the stylus and his hand allowed,

"Fatfucc."

He let out a small snort, a little bit shocked to it actually accepting the name.

 _Fatfucc was added to your party._

As soon as he was back at the screen to where his character was standing, he rushed over the main menu screen, pulled open the options and rushed to the save button, tapping it at least six times, scared shitless to see something he worked so hard to get disappear.

He listened to the chime of a successful save over and over as he heard the sound of heavyset footsteps come down the stairs. He whipped his head, and noticed Cartman in only his boxers, rubbing his sleep induced eye.

"Kahl? What the fuck? It's nearly three AM. I'm trying to get some sleep, you asshole." Eric grumpily noted, as he shuffled his way over to grab a glass of milk.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, took a gander at the clock that sat beside him on the table near the sofa. He mouth went agape as he noticed the time, 2:56 AM.

"Sorry, Cartman...I guess I lost track of time." He sheepishly shrunk into the couch.

"Yeah, yeah. You've been playing Pokemon since five, what? Did you get your first shiny or something?" Eric walked back over, a glass in one hand, the other scratching his left ass cheek.

Kyle gave a small smile, moving his eyes back and forth as he snapped his head back at the screen.

"You gotta be shitting me. There's no fucking way." Eric plopped himself on the couch as Kyle kept his eyes focused on his character, who was walking aimlessly down to the next city.

"Show me this shiny, Kahl. I gotta see what it is."

Kyle sighed, losing focus as Eric begged.

"Do you really? It's nothing special, just a basic shiny."

"No shiny is a basic shiny. They're fucking rare to come by."

Kyle whined, opening up his party screen. He tapped on the munchlax he had once craved to own, and Eric took a peek.

"Pfft. It's a fucking munchlax, dude. Why would you be so happy to own one of those, especially if it's a shiny." Eric laughed rudely, shoving a magically appearing cheesy poof into mouth.

"Dude, it was the one of the only shinies I never owned, alright?" Kyle lied, knowing that Eric actually never knew the reason he wanted one of these.

"How the fuck did you never own one? I had one. It was hacked but I didn't give a shit."

"I wanted one that wasn't hacked, you know how I am. And besides, I never knew you had one, you should've told me you asshole!" He carried the lie more, knowing that Cartman could easily go on and on about his pokemon adventures.

"Well, I never wanted to trade with you, being the stingy Jew that you are."

Kyle just let out a defeated sigh, knowing he didn't want to hear Cartman's rant about not trading with him, It was true he cared, but he finally started to become tired more easily irritated.

"Nevermind, just let's go to bed. I'm fucking tired." He stood up, stretching his legs again, earning a small pop and crack from each.

Eric nodded, wanting to finish his rant but decided against it. He drank the last sip of his milk, put the glass in the sink and followed suit of a sleepy Kyle to their bedroom. Kyle placed his 3DS on the nightstand, plugging it in. He plopped his light body on his side of the bed, snuggling under the comforter. Eric climbed under, grabbing Kyle's body in the process, letting him rest his head on his chest. Kyle did so as he felt a drowsy hand dig at his curls.

Kyle slowly listened to Eric's rhythmic breathing, his small snores soothing him to slumber.

Kyle could barely contain his excitement for his new buddy. He was ready to spend the next week training him, bringing his friendship meter to the max and evolving him into the snorlax he's been wanting.

He spent his free Tuesday finishing up the main plot of the game, beating the elite four of that region. It was a breeze for him, nearly knocking each opponent's pokemon out with one hit wonders. Fatfucc sat dormant in his box, waiting to be trained and unleashed.

He traveled to the nearest pokemon center as he dropped off his main party, taking out only fatfucc and some other needed pokemon to help with difficult fights.

"Okay, time to get this shit started." He cracked his knuckles, putting his thumbs on specific buttons and circle pad. He raced off, training his shiny munchlax to its highest potential.

He created a regimen, starting at its level he had caught it on, level 15. .He would train by fighting numerous higher level wild pokemon, leveling it up as he went along the region once more. He would then go to Pokemon Amine, giving it the love and care it deserve and lastly he would super train it, making it as tough as he could.

He didn't know why he wanted to make it fucking buff, but it was just an ambition to make it the most OP Munchlax soon to be Snorlax out there, not really caring about IVs.

Eric noticed how much Kyle was getting into the newest Pokemon game, and didn't think much of it at first. But as the week progressed, he noticed how much time and effort he put into this one thing. It kinda looked fun. It peaked his interest in the franchise again. He took a look about the newest game online, finding that there were more than 700 pokemon and new ways to become the greatest pokemon master of them all. Now it was talking his language. He understood now, and he needed to join his boyfriend. He drove over to the nearest gaming store and bought a copy of the game, not caring if it was the right version or not. It was the game, he wanted to play it.

As soon as he started, the obsession began. He chose his starter, fire. He nearly died on his first battle, not knowing any of the new shit that was implemented. But as he continued, he picked it up rather quickly. He learned the ropes; what types were weak or effective to one another, what pokemon were strong enough as main, and he grew bonds with many of the ones he had caught, especially with his starter. It reminded him much of Kyle, how cute and small it was and how it really packed a punch when it was angered. He had named it, "Kahl."

The two began sitting close together as both of their eyes were glued to their 3DS screens, creating powerful teams that were sure to wipe the floor clean in competitive battle. It had been nearly a week since Eric had started playing, and he was close to finishing his pokedex and recently gained a lot of traction as a shiny dealer. Finding out the easy ways of gaining shinies and selling them for actual money really gave him attention and he adored it. Kyle had been training his prized possession for weeks, trying to perfect him the way he wanted him to be. Neither of them glanced over at the opposing screens, each too busy about their own individual goals to care. Kyle had his head laying in Eric's lap, his system in his clutch, hovering over his face. Eric had his sticking a bit far out and up in the air, due to Kyle's position.

"So, Kahl? What starter did you choose?" Eric asked, not letting his gaze leave the battle he was having with an online player. His Delphox named "Kahl" just inflicted a burn on his recent opponent, who was on his second to last party member.

"Grass. You?" He answered in two syllables, watching as fatfucc the OP snorlax was finishing up his final round of super training. He was finally level 100, and Kyle was as happy as a mother watching her children grow up and becoming full fledged adults.

"Fire."

"Hmm."

Neither of them spoke after that, almost finishing their tasks at hand.

"You wanna trade after this?" Kyle asked, finishing up Fatfucc's final round.

"Yeah." Eric nodded, beating his competitor from Japan with a clean streak.

Kyle sat up and sat against Eric in a comfortable fashion. The two connected through link trade,

"Hey, Cartman? Lemme see your DS for a sec." Kyle held out his hand, waiting for his red system to be placed.

"Huh? Why?" Eric asked, kind of concerned.

"I gotta send you something and I don't want you to see until I'm done." Kyle takes Cartman's system, and proceeds with his plan.

"Alright…? If you're gonna do some sneaky jew shit, then I gotta do the same." He stuck his tongue out in disapproval, waiting for his system back.

Kyle handed his game back, "Don't fucking sneak to find it, I know exactly where I placed it and you have to find it."

Eric fought his urge to look through his many boxes of shinies. His thumb was nearly pushing the circle pad to the right, but he had to stop as he was handed Kyle's DS. He wanted to be surprised on what Kyle had left for him.

"Here, do your thing." Kyle smiled, waiting somewhat impatiently on his present from him.

Eric snatched the two close. He thought about what to give him, and he decided on one thing.

It was a few moments later that Eric had finally finished up what he was doing. It took longer than Kyle had participated, but he was kind of intrigued. Each male took hold of their own DS, going to their local pokemon center to see their collections.

"You wanna go first?" Eric stared at his blue pokemon PC screen.

Kyle gave a quick nod, looking for the present that Eric left. It took a while as it was an unused box, nearly at the end of his PC. The box read "I love you." As he moved his cursor towards each pokemon, they each were named with a word or letter.

"I love you, you fiery little joo, Kahl. heart emoji." Kyle gave a sweet smile, but gasping at the sight of Eric's prized delphox.

"You gave me your favorite pokemon?"

"Yeah, I figured I'd give him to someone who would actually want him. He's not powerful or anything, but he reminded me of you. He can kick ass and be cute as all hell." Eric gave a wink.

Kyle rolled his eyes, but leaned over to give Cartman a thank you kiss for being overly dramatic and sweet over a pokemon trade. Not that he could say a word, however.

"You can see yours now, dude."

Eric rapidly searched through his many boxes, finding that one that Kyle created. It was just titled, "Eric."

"Eric, you mean alot to me, and I love you, you…" He scrolled over to see Kyle's first prized shiny from the game, now an over powered snorlax by the name of, "fatfucc." Eric lost his shit, and Kyle follows suit. Both of them were in high hysterics, not really understanding why.

"You really go overboard just for this?" Eric started coughing, losing his breath.

Kyle struggled to spit out an answer, "Y-yeah...I've wanted to give you fatfucc for ages. He reminds me of you."

Eric's DS landed with a muffled bump to the floor, as did Kyle's. Eric had closed the gap between the two of them, slipping their lips together as if they fit perfectly to one another. Kyle took hold of Cartman's face, gripping his hair as he moved his hands up and around his neck.

Eric let go, a small trail of saliva connecting the two, "We're both fucking sappy." He pressed his sweat covered forehead against Kyle's, letting Kyle wrap his arms lovingly around his neck.

"It's so true. Who else makes lovey dovey shit with their boyfriend's pokemon?"

"No one, except a fatfucc and his Kahl."


End file.
